Monday, July 30, 2007
quite sad though... dont know why also, why would people like to make a big fuss especially when it is not the right time... everything use to be perfect, but it doesn't seem now... still remember we have load of fun, but that in the past, it cant be now... why everything seems to be againt my will and ways... i am so hot now... feel like screaming out to the ocean... feel like punching and kicking againt a punching bag... is it me, or you, or what? how i wish sometime i am not being seen, everytime i see, a sense of jealousy, sadness and anger arose in my heart... i wanna let it go, but it seem hard... the moments i remember is so nostalgic, cannot be forgotten, in the end i am hurt, i keep to myself... is it i am too nice, or is it my character really bad... everytime you run towards, trying to invoke into my brain, why will you be so heartless to do such things... i already let go... why would you still come making me remember what i dont wanna remember, i know you are having a good time, everythings may seems perfect for you, with whatever you need, i dont need sympathy, even though i dont have, i may be sad, even though that in the past, would you kindly give me a break? even though i long for it, there always be a mark there, cannot be erased... even though i really long for it, but i dont have that much courage to face it, i dont want the pity that other gave, overall did you all know about that, nope i guess, what can i do, just let it pass, i am not that easy as others think, i am truly broken... without me, there will not be a start, without me, there will not be a stop too, see from far, it seem like my creation, i guess this creation is a boon to me...
just installing the 3d studio max onto my laptop but they say cannot be operate... huh, only window 2000 and xp then can... then my laptop is vista, cannot operate, i wasted like nearly an hour installing it, and it is very important, cause i need to do my project using it...
gonna sleep now, tomorrow still got school
Above Posted At 12:49 AM
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Sunday, July 29, 2007
today most prob going to stay at home the whole day, been going out for the past 6 days... tomorrow also have work, then on tuesday also have work... yesterday also went to have supper with kevin, then yesterday morning, it was my first time presenting a power points slide on how to extract DNA from our cheeck cells to about 100 secondary school students in my school... yesterday was the math and science quiz, so i am involve because i am in science club... wah, it was quite nervous when i presenting cause it my first time to facing a crowd of 100+ plus students... haha, but in the end, my friends they all say i am quite funny when i am presenting but overall it good lol...=) after that went to kbox with yi meng to visit some friends...
hmmm... just now been watching the korean serial drama, what paris lover... quite nice though, then going to wait till 5pm for the show to start at channel U, some nice animation shows... oh ya, my laptop also got something wrong, when i start a programm or use the internet, it was really slow, like got infected by virus... then everything also lag... so i download norton anti virus software, it was free for usage for 90 days... so after the trial period end, think i am gonna save money to buy the software if it is really good, hope it wont cost a bomb...
Above Posted At 4:08 PM
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Thursday, July 26, 2007
today in the morning go to school, then around evening go to kbox for a while to visit apple cause today is her last day of work... for the past few days has been quite packed for me, everyday went to school, then on monday and tuesday night went to work... then yesterday i was late for school, in the end cannot take math test, gonna get zero for that paper cause cannot makeup for the test... just now in the afternoon also went to eat yoshinoya with my classmates, it quite tasty and cheap though...
sometime just feel so tired that wanna actually take a long break... sometime there are so many things going on, everythings seem to be arranged, sometime you can't even predict your own mood, you dont know what is happening... sometime you dont know why you do the thing you do, sometime you dont know why you act the way you act, think the way you think... sometime you feel so confused, upset... sometime you feel that you dont understand yourself, sometime you live just for the sake of living, sometime you follow what others do, sometime you are influenced by others... sometime you feel so bored and lonely, no one is around by your side... sometime you feel discouraged, disappointed and dishearten... sometime you listen to the music and think of something, sometime you give up on yourself, sometime you just think you carry on living with the mandane and boring life of yours... nothing interesting and happy to look forward to... sometime you are at the corner, talking to yourself... sometime tears drop down from your misty eyes... sometime you stare at the dark sky, sometime you get so angry, sometime you blame yourself, sometime tears accompany you day and night, sometime words cannot express what you wanted to say, sometime you stood there without uttering a word... sometime how you wish tales with happy ending will happen to you, sometime how you wish you can live out the life you always wanted to have, sometime your heart feel so heavy and burdened, sometime you look at a mirror and saw a reflection of yourself, sometime how you wish time will stop where you want it to stop, sometime how you wish you can be as successful... sometime you look at the sunset, observing how beautiful it is, sometime rarely you see a rainbow, sometime you like being alone, sometime the best cure is to scream and then relax... sometime...
sometime you like rainy days, with dark thick clouds hovering the sky, with thunder clashes raging furiously, with wind like typhoon swirling passes empty streets, with heavy rain that sound like needles dropping on the floor, as moments of ignorance passes, you saw the angry storm is getting more and more strong, sitted along at the edge in a in-house balcony with window glass next to you, peering into the window plane and into the sky, birds are escaping for shelters, owners of the flat are withdrawing their clothes, shutting down their window, grandparents are bringing their grandchildren home from the playground, people are starting to use their umbrella... somehow you feel so relax and calm, knowing you are safe in-door, emotions and feelings starting to invoke into your spirit... it noon time but yet the sky looks frightening and scary, wondering of somethings that are always in your heart, waiting for the key to unlock and reveal what you always wanted to know, the room is getting colder and darker, no one at home, everywhere seems to be so quiet, it a sunday... staring and peering into the open sky, minutes starting to tick, tick, tick, tick, tick... ...
Above Posted At 7:13 PM
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Sunday, July 22, 2007
just came back from dinner with my mum and uncles... today slept for around 17 hours, guess was really very tired... suppose to go for cip in the morning, but in the end never go... it used to be in the past, but now i guess it doesn't... but we cant stay in the past, we need to move forward, who know what lies infront of us... it may be something beautiful that we never imagine before... do we have the faith to believe? do we have what it take to change how we want our life to be? do we have the courage to change the negative to the positive?
Above Posted At 9:21 PM
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Above Posted At 9:19 PM
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Saturday, July 21, 2007
Above Posted At 11:36 PM
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Thursday, July 19, 2007
me and apple, she will be going back to china during the first week of august le, after working with her for more than half a year, quite sad though... but anyway, she going back to study and be reunited with her family... and going to have a great future...=) it is also sad that her boyfriend who is in singapore cant go back with her cause he applied for PR previously... so her boyfriend has to stay in singapore, while she has to go back to china because her work permit is due...but anyway, she wanted to study tourism and be a tour guide in her country cause she say that in that profession will earn big bucks =)
all the best to you, and make sure come back to visit me, lols...........
this week has been quite ok for me, just like normal weekdays, go to school, come back, do your stuffs, sleep, go to school, and cycle continue on and on... today has my matrix quiz during math lesson, it was like finally i can do lah, cause the previous night i spend quite alot of time reading and practicing them... then during art lesson, my story board for the digital animation is not completed yet, then my art teacher quite angry, but anyway she ask me to complete by today in which i still left abit more to draw, so that i can show her tomorrow... everything seems wierd and funny nowadays, dont know why also... then on wednesday night, met up with jeremy and jun liang to watch harry potter, fantastic man...
read a book on wednesday when i waiting for them to go watch movie, it's about two missionaries going to china, hudson taylor and maria dyer taylor, maria was the first wife of hudson taylor, she died at the age of 33 which is the same as jesus... both of them have been married for 12 and a half years before the death of maria... although during this short period of marriage, they love each other alot, hudson never blame god for taking maria away from him at such a young age, in fact he thank god for her during this short 12 and a half year and it enough to last him through... finally, a question posed in the book: do we blame god for people dying at young age? especially good people, especially those who have yet to fulfil to their fullest potential in life... those people who have not yet achieved their dreams, visions and goals... especially great dreams and visions that are yet to be fulfil, isn't it wasteful?
but ultimately, our time is in god hand, we are make according to his way... when we are born or die are decided by him, although we may not know why he does the thing he does, but surely He's our creator, the one who made me, though we may not understand but one thing for sure He love us and whatever he does will be for our good...
Above Posted At 10:38 PM
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Monday, July 16, 2007
just came back from supper with francis at mac... before that was actually working... today it been rather fruitful to me... morning met up with yi meng at bishan for math tuition, after that in the afternoon, i go and cut hair... i look like a small kid though... then i went home to have a good long bath... then in the evening, i went to work, then after work supper... now it already 3.04am... actually dont wanna blog de, but due to charging of the mp3, i have to switch on my laptop, and since i switch on, i must as well blog...
i am going to sleep before 3.30am, if not, i have no energy tomorrow...
this week will be quite pack for me too... monday and tuesday night, i have work, then on friday night, my friend is having a birthday celebration, then on saturday night, i meeting my friends for dinner in town.... i also have to meet up with yi meng for more tuition...
everyday seems to be so busy... how i wish, i am living somewhere in the country side, less burdens, less stressful... everyday facing the products of the nature... and staying happy always... with all the cows, pigs, horses, sheeps =)
yes it true, life and death depend on our mouth, we can either speak life into other people life or death into other people life... friendship can be destroyed by the words that we speak... so choose to encourage rather than pouring cold water onto other people life... we no need such people in today society cause there is abundance around the world... choose to be positive even though everything may not seems right... overall it a decision that you make... but anyway, i am always here... beliving in you...
there is so many things i wanna accomplish, but there is also a price to pay for it... looking onto the GREAT accomplishment, will you sacrifice your time, energy, effort ? even happiness?? i will not sacrifce my happiness for accomplishments... cause to me, staying happy is like a guidebook that guide my life... even though, how i yearn to accomplish certain things, i will look for other alternatives, but surely not my happiness, cause you will never know the power of happiness... what it can bring... even though, i maybe unhappy, but i will look for way to make myself happy... even there is no one there cheering you or supporting you... and of course, if i can accomplish great thing with happiness... it will be great =)
Above Posted At 3:02 AM
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Saturday, July 14, 2007
just came back from work, it been rather boring today... dont know why... later i still have to wait up at around 6am to go to school for some building excellence course... and now it already 3.45am... think gonna get around 1 hour of sleep only... haha, lols, just now maylwin say i got moodswing during work... dont have lol... just thinking of something- in deep thoughts... and during work was so boring that actually made me more tired...
thinking of quite alot of things... i think i think alot... must learn to hack care...lols... sometime it so hard to satisfy both parties, when both parties are my friends and at the same time they dont like each other... so who should i satisfy first? so hard to be a good person, or rather a middle man...
so overall i should just hack care, lols... cause that will not make me upset... and i will not think so much... and maybe that the key to something you always wanted it to be! =)
so who in the world will really understand me, i find no one, not even myself but there is one....
recently have been watching chobits, an animation about computer in a form of human, go search for it if you are interested...
also found this interseting website http://users.skynet.be/bk258512/idiot_test.swf
go see it for yourself
Above Posted At 3:25 AM
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Wednesday, July 11, 2007
just came back from toa payoh central with some of the cellgroup members... walking around and looking at things... saw belts, but dont have the design i like...
just wondering in life we dont really need a lot of friends, we need friends that really understand us though... compare to the hundred friends you have, i rather have just ten friends which they really understand me though, and of course i too must qualify to become their friends...
Above Posted At 9:40 PM
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just came back from celebrating jasmine birthday, went to fish and co at the glass house there to eat... the food is marvellous! her real birthday is on thursday...
now doing my art homework, searching an artist name gustave courbet, a realist artist, finally got the infomation i want, so i am done!
oh ya, may lwin surprise was a shirt from my favourite brand, thanks may lwin =)
sometime human are been easily cheated, in term of money and realtionship etc... sometime we tend to be so good that actually other will take advantage of us...
Above Posted At 12:29 AM
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Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Above Posted At 5:01 PM
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just came back from school, later going to celebrate jasmine birthday...HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASMINE!!!
just now saw my result online for the term 3 blocked test... it was like a piece of shit... but anyway i feel quite ok, but somehow the result motivate me to study even harder! ya, i am going to seek help around me... just to console myself, i am not the last or the few worst in class ah... ya, everybody failing, it is whether good fail or bad fail... haha xD
gonna study hard le... step by step xD
just now had my chinese oral in school, it A level one, then the passage abit hard, but still manage to read through... i think i will do well in the conversation part... cause i talk alot, and i think the examiners understood what i am talking =) the conversation was about how people like beggars e.g. cheat singaporean sympthay and money by helping them e.g give money to them when they actually are not really beggars... they pretend that they need help, and they are very poor thing, but in fact they are not really that poor... reported by newspaper articles also...
Above Posted At 4:34 PM
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Monday, July 09, 2007
Above Posted At 2:39 AM
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just came back from work, everything quite ok today ah... in the afternoon, went to meet my classmates to do project work... think from next week onward, i am not going to work on sunday night le, cause it steal my sleep away... =)
back to the same, caged by metal bars, all i can do is to see from far, feeling happy for them... there nothing i can do, if they are happy, i am happy... people may not know, but god know!
this all i can ask for =)
tomorrow got school, have to sleep early... end around 5 plus in the evening... =(
happy birthday
Above Posted At 2:09 AM
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Saturday, July 07, 2007
i dont need to be a man pleaser, be a god pleaser... dont know much about religion, still want to use the word religion to solve the problem... people percieving tool is so lousy nowadays, i rather has a blue tooth then have people tooth... chair huh?? next time chopper, chop off your skull, throw in the sea, and wait for a fisherman to koreak your skull back... huh?? killing intention, i wanna have rape intention also... kidding =)
but back to the point, no real evidence is equivallent to whatever you say is not supported... so that how you think, i cannot change, i tell who?? tell them, you twisted the points and make me feel like i am super guilty... huh you win lols... you never understood what i am thinking, you only keep on thinking of the imaginary side, what take knife kill you, throw chair kill you... lols, i overall still a person, i know i will be charge for this stupidity actions... huh you dont think of the logic side, lose your coolness, lose your temper, i give you drink shirley temple, next time, not enough manna, drink that lols... still wanna slap me, secret...somebody tell me one lols... huh? i charge you... i sound so evil, and mean... back the point, you think i so free create so many thing for fun?? huh... dont you think i want to be in good term...oh gosh, due to your action make me decided to give up, just running away from the facts... actually, actually.... easy to say, so hard to accomplish... i dont wanna talk got wrong, i kept quiet, oh my fault again... you know what is space??? you go to the keyboard there and type space...lols...after so many thing you think, hey why so quiet one sentence may me wanna talk to you??
nope plus a few sentence behind... and i also didnt show you attitude, i just smile as what the month before june mentioned... like that only lei... also get angry??
and also the past issue, ok my fault... cause i so sick and tired of explaining it le, even not really my fault, my fault, and if my fault, my fault... wanna use short cut to solve problem, lock me in restroom, like criminal... have you ever thought how i feel in there?? yes super hot!!! running away... eardrum bursting... lols, all that is needed is space and time... but, you say what drag too long... then cause more problem for friends... you already know since long long time, i love to joke, i am humourous, due to the radio 98 fm .3 and 10pm news, you percieved as attitude i give you... isnt that what i long long say even before the whole thing happen??
only experienced one knows... there is a chinese proverbs about it... during my sec 2 year, there is also one person i am quite close and bonded and have lot of fun with... but things happen... i hang on so tightly that i wanted to slove the problem but in the end causing more problem, i ask myself, i really treasure the friendship alot, but why the person like hack care like that... things happen and happen... cut long story short, i decided to just pretent nothing happen and let nature take it course, let time do partly the job... in the end we are quite close again until when we separate, separate in term of going to different class... but still got contact each other... it was like 4 years ago le, dont really remember that much about the incident le...
ok back to story, i also want to end le... in term of post lols...so many things to share, but because of the overuse of braincell to type this post make me tired... now quite sleepy... if, i hackcare, i wont post it ... what does it show? not important anymore... i also not going to waste my resource on such things in the future... overall i still care... (dont like this post, keep the comment to yourself) thank you...
finally bought the adidas watch, hong bin buy for me as birthday present, thanks brother!
it a long post defitnely.... just a post of my emotion, conviction and feeling, no motive =) lols
Above Posted At 12:10 AM
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Thursday, July 05, 2007
nowadays lazy to blog...quite tiring, then got badly burnt in sentosa...
monday went to sentosa with my cg members, quite fun...haha
tuesday went to school, after that very tired, slept for the whole day, from 7pm to 7am...then didnt go school today, just now meet me friend have dinner, before that meet another bunch of my friends to go buy present, then tomorrow going chalet, friday maybe singing k lunch... sp pack... life is always full of surprise!!! =)
Above Posted At 12:18 AM
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Sunday, July 01, 2007
just came back from supper with nicolette and kevin...ate yi mien at blk 75... although i have grew older, my taste have not change yet, have eatten that for around 9 years le... there are somethings that will never change forever... the more you avoid, the more you are hurt... suddenly feel so nostalgic when i read someone blog, although we are moving on ahead with time, but how i wish my soul will fly back to the past happy moments that i have and with my friends together...but it impossible... suddenly thought of the interests, hobbies, work, outings, chats we have together, and i really love it alot... either you change, i change or both of us change... or perharp, we have not change but something happen along the way... guess those moments will hardly come to past again, and it can be only caged within the 4 walls of my heart...but no matter how long i write, it cannot be replaced, and all i can say is that i really did treasure and cherish those moments in my life, and it will never ever be forgotten! if there's a chance... but i think it will never occur... most of all, i yearn for a new........ and i never remember the fault and blame....... but.......
when the world is sleeping, would you be the princess that would wake the prince up from his deep sleep, knowing that it will be dangerous with witches outside and her demonic cults and evil spirits harming and following you... would you be the one?
Above Posted At 12:48 AM
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Above Posted At 12:18 AM
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